Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize