On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i can't believe i had my finger in that
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
