I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
