Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
