Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
