I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
