The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
