We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
