Yo dont text me then not text me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize