apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
