Yo dont text me then not text me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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