You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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