Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
