I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
