their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
that's an acceptable place to lick
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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