I'm lost and stupid without you.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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