I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
