Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
