forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
