Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
