Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sponge bath it is.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
