Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
