OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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