Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize