if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
