Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
