I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
