lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize