you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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