Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
