I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
