I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
