Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
