I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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