p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
