Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
