Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
