They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
