Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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