ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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