only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
