even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
