i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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