the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
