I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
