I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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