The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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