if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
