My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
