your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize