What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
