this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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