This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize