break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
