I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
