Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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