Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
