i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize