Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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