grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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