i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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