this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
