"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Found your dick twin last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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