And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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