I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
