i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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