Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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